Loneliness leads to increased levels
of the stress hormone cortisol, altered expression in immune cells, poorer
immune function, higher blood pressure and an increased level of depression.
It
depresses your immune system, just like depression. Long periods of isolation
can lead to feelings of helplessness, just like depression. It makes us wonder how many people are taking
antidepressants when maybe all they need is a “secure attachment and a hug.”
John
T, Cacioppo, is a Distinguished Professor at the University of Chicago, who is
one of the founders of the new, interdisciplinary field of neuroscience which
has used brain scans to examine the ways in which social isolation impacts our
bodies and behaviour. Together with
science writer William Patrick, he presents a fascinating assessment of
loneliness and the need of social connection.
The authors lay out the
roots of loneliness in 3 sections:
1. The person’s individual genetically
based level of vulnerability to social disconnection
2. The person’s ability to regulate the
emotions connected with feeling isolated.
3. The person’s expectation of others.
These
factors combine to influence stress levels, immune response, and negative
cycles of self-defeating behaviour. The authors claim that loneliness can be
dealt with by understanding our fears and reframing how we think about social
situations.
As
a psychotherapist, I help my clients deal with the underlying emotional issues
that cause loneliness.
Today
we see people reaching out to others through: Social media networking: Facebook, Twitter, Meet-up groups, etc…
The
studies report that a sense of isolation or rejection disrupts not only our
abilities, will power and perseverance, but also key cellular processes deep
within the human body.
Cacioppo
and Patrick also demonstrate how loneliness creates a loop that reinforces
social anxiety, fear and other negative feelings. According to the authors help can be given by
rediscovering those positive, physiological sensations that come during the
simplest moments of human contact. But
that means overcoming the fear and reaching out.
Lonely people feel a hunger. The solution lies not in being fed, but in
cooking for and enjoying a meal with others.
What
matters is not the number of social interactions, but the degree to which these
social interactions satisfy a person’s need for connection.
Just
like losing weight is a matter of eating less and exercising , rather than
cutting out carbohydrates and taking over the counter drugs, the same way you
cannot come out of your shell by losing weight, getting a fashion makeover, or
go on E-Harmony to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
You
are going to have to be nice to people, volunteer at a place of your liking,
and stop the destructive thought patterns.
